Apology

Wow, thanks WordPress; hitting me with the hard stuff.

I was tempted to skip this prompt today. After all, I skip so many anyway, so might as well just keep going with this one, right? If I only picked the easy prompts to write about, though, well… nothing would actually happen. I’m just bored. 

I’m told by a lot of people that I apologize too often. There have been times when strangers would bump into me in the street and I’d turn around and say “Sorry” to them. Why?? Why do I do that? I couldn’t tell you, but it’s gotten to the point where it’s nearly instinctual. I wouldn’t be surprised if “Sorry” was the word I say the most on any given day.

If I really want to explain it, though, I suppose I say “Sorry” so often is because when it comes time to actually apologize for something that I should be sorry for, I still find it difficult to spit it out. Quantity over quality, right? If I know for a fact I’ve messed up bad, my first reaction is never to say sorry; it’s to back away slowly and hide like a turtle.

It just never seems right to apologize right after I’ve done something wrong – and I mean really wrong, like accidentally drink your roommate’s entire nice bottle of white wine because you thought she told you she only drank red (alright, so not first degree murder, but still). Not right away, at least. Now, before you call me unapologetic and fake, it’s not because I don’t feel sorry for what I might’ve done. It’s more of a timing thing: I don’t want to sound inauthentic. Think about it: if you’re caught red-handed doing something bad, and you say sorry right afterwards, it sounds more like you’re just trying to save your own skin from immediate punishment or retaliation, not like you’re really sorry. This can definitely backfire, because the longer I wait to finally say that apology, the sillier and more pointless it seems. The fight’s over, life moves on, but that apology’s never given, and though that may seem like everything is forgotten, it’s not.

It is my unshakable belief that saying “Sorry,” even a little too often, is not a bad thing. I’d much prefer to accidentally say “Sorry” to the driver that almost hits me with their car than to not say “Sorry” when I break my friend’s favorite mug.

Sorry for writing such a serious post.

https://dailypost.wordpress.com/prompts/apology/

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