I was tempted to switch things up again and write about how much I love the songs “Don’t Stop Believing” and “Faithfully,” but hey, this is a personal blog and if everyone else is writing about their own little insignificant lives too, then why can’t I? Also, I wouldn’t have anything significant to say about the band, so this would be a short post, and I would probably write, “They’re pretty good, but I also like listening to the Glee versions of their songs. Sorry,” then call it a day.
I have this weird concept of time that I’ve been struggling with recently. The more I sit around, the more I start to think about all of things that I could and should be doing, and the more I sit around planning out how I should be doing all of those things. I’ve heard so many times that in order to be productive you need to be organized, and I do try to keep a bullet journal (it’s been… sort of working), but it seems so futile to me sometimes. What I need is a way to have just a constant burst of energy that will keep me going so I actually get the tasks that I want done, when I want them done. I actually kept that up once for a week or so at the beginning of this summer, but I think my energy levels will still be catching up on their debt by next spring… I suppose I could start drinking more coffee, but if I drink any more than I already do, I’d just have to stop smiling with my teeth and start wearing an adult diaper.
All these tasks, all these things I have to do, makes it seem like I’m not actually going through a journey, but rather fighting off the crashing waves of time. As if this doesn’t sound daunting enough, that’s only the small stuff. When I look at the bigger picture – the journey – those waves have very suddenly made a tsunami.
So this is what it’s like to be an adult…
Point is, I’ve stopped seeing life as a journey. That doesn’t mean it isn’t a journey, but it’s just not how I want to look at it anymore. Life is a series of semi-controllable events, and while you can have an endgame (mine is to write the next Lost and to live in a Manhattan loft), everything else in between is basically a shitshow. So with that in mind, I’m adding three more things to my task list:
-try to stay positive
-stop being so melodramatic (maybe)